I write because…

Posted by on Nov 5, 2012 | 25 comments

Writing

Have you ever questioned your motivation for something? Did you discover a simple answer or are you a mass of contradictions?

I write because I love books and everything to do with them. The idea of someday writing one of my own would be like turning up to gatecrash a party and finding your name already on the guest list – confirmation I ‘d finally arrived.

I write to understand the world and myself. Ideas and thoughts are so fluid – writing them down helps me grasp them, hold them, feel them and remember them.

I write so that I’m not invisible.

I write because I want to be right. I want someone, somewhere to think, “You know…  she’s got a point.”

I write because I love stationary.

I write because I think and feel too much and it’s all got to go somewhere. Some of it is  self-indulgence and seeing it on paper helps me recognize it and lets me choose to ignore it next time it invades my thoughts.

I write because I’m good at it. English lessons at school were like coming home and the teachers, supportive, nurturing relatives. It was the closest I got to being valued for being me.

I write because I want to be the next big thing.

I write because I’m lonely; no one will ever really know me and the thought of that is quite despairing at times. I don’t know if I can ever make myself understood but even trapped within someone else’s perception of me, I can still let my thoughts soar.

I write because I need constant confirmation that I can.

I write because I have Borderline Personality Disorder and it gets overcrowded in my head; writing helps release the pressure. Sometimes I find it hard to be around people but writing lets me still talk to you.

I write because no one can hear me when I speak. I used to have terrible recurring dreams where I was trying to make myself heard but wasn’t physically able. They stopped when I started writing.

I write because I can hide behind my words – actors are visible writers aren’t. I’m really kinda shy…

I write because writing down a thought means putting it out there and living with it forever and that’s the most powerful thing I can do.

I write because it passes the time.

I write because I like making things – words are like beads, you select them carefully, checking for colour, shine, translucency, weight, and thread them in a precise order to create a thing of beauty. Nothing beats the high of striving for perfection. If achieving it were possible, it would fall far short of the joy of trying.

I write because I’m an observer not a participant. I’m uncomfortable as the centre of attention – I’m happy just to be allowed in the room. Writing lets me sit by the fire without getting burnt.

I write because what I say is forgettable but what I write endures.

I write because it helps me to be real, it’s organic and comes from inside – it’s pure and good for you and better than taking vitamins.

I write because I want my genius to be known.

I write because it costs nothing. Ikea give you free pencils and there’s always something around to scribble on – a napkin, a receipt, a wall, a limb. What kind of writer waits until they’ve saved up enough for a  Montblanc or a Visconti?

I write because I’m enjoying getting away with it before someone realizes I’m just winging it.

It’s cheaper than therapy.

I write because I have a strong brave voice on paper but I’m a wuss in reality and it’s the only way I know to bring those two states closer together.

I write because I want my parents to be proud of me.

I write because I just do. I always have. Even when I’m not writing, I’m narrating in my head.

I write to escape my thoughts.

I write because I’m selfish, insecure, thoughtless, arrogant, hypocritical and I talk too loud – on paper, I’m more palatable.

I write because I want to mean something to myself.

I write because I like talking to you.

I also like listening, so tell me… why do you write?

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25 Comments

  1. I write because I can’t fix the world, but I can fix, destroy or change what I create in a sentence or a word. It’s mine and I control it. I can make life perfect in fiction. I write because it holds memories; I can look back and remember my thoughts and feelings. I can learn from it too. I write because it distracts me from thinking (and often doing work) and because I can say the things I wish I’d said. I write because it’s amusing. I found your reasons very interesting, thank you for writing.

    • Hmmmm… saying the things I wish I’d said – I can relate to that. Thanks for reading and commenting.

  2. You are so not a wuss and I’ve never heard you talk too loudly (except when necessary in Boots when we couldn’t get the pushchairs around the pillars or down in the lift). And your writing – well, please keep doing it because you mean a lot to me and what you write is brilliant x much love x

    • Oh Jenny! That made my nose fizz and my throat constrict. Miss you lovely ♥

  3. wow! that’s really got me thinking! what wonderful words you have chosen. I’m translating lots of these over to ‘Why I paint….’ and thinking some deep thoughts for a Monday evening – thanks for reminding me, inspiring me, and humbling me.

    • Thank you – a little introspection can be an enlightening thing :-) Happy thinking and keep painting those exquisite pictures!

  4. I write for some of the reasons you do…. and for others. When I was younger and more screwed up writing was definitely therapy: most of it has been thrown away, though I’ve enjoyed re-reading things I wrote when I lived abroad. I also write because I’m a performer: I want to leave my mark on the world; to gain some sort of immortality. I’m not going to do it by being a great singer or great athlete, much as I love both those things, but perhaps one day in centuries’ time someone will find my writing and enjoy reading it. Or perhaps my children and my children’s children will browse through and thereby learn more about me.

    How’s the running going? I haven’t done anything for 2 weeks, since going to circuit training and not being able to walk afterwards…. took far longer to recover than from either the marathon or the 15 mile trail race!

    • I ran on Sunday – the temp with windchill was minus four. I quickly changed my route from the 5km one to the 3.5 but wasn’t until I stopped that my throat began to scream at me. Time to start running with a scarf over my mouth!
      Circuit training is brutal! When are you going back for another go?

  5. P.S. the bit about ‘I write because I’m lonely’ made me feel sad for you. I know what you mean though. I used to have a big black hole of loneliness in my stomach. Fortunately it’s gone now….

  6. I write because ….
    I itch if I don’t
    It’s therapeutic for me
    I love writing
    I can reach more mums that way, than I can in 1to1 sessions
    I want to change our world and families are where everything starts.

    Love your blog xx

    • Thanks Lisa, I know you already make a difference to a lot of families with your fantastic blog!

  7. No on paper you’re just as arrogant. My genius to be known, wow speechless

    • You’d have to know me beyond my writing for that observation to carry any weight, but I don’t blame you for being jealous. I have many faults but I’m not scared to own up to them – you don’t even want to identify yourself with your comment…

  8. I write because it’s a good way to get people to “listen” …..when people talk at each other each is too busy thinking about getting there next response to actually listen to whats being said :) written words need your concentration and attention

    • To write clearly, you need to think clearly. When I read something that speaks to me, I often go back and re-read it, just to cement to into my consciousness. Often in conversation, I find many responses and questions don’t surface until after I’ve processed the information – by then, the moment’s gone.

  9. I have absolutely nothing to add… you have said it all, with clarity, vision and insight.

  10. Why do I (or anyone) write? Many reasons. Much depends on the genre(s) in which you write. It is a fine and tricky line between sharing and being self-absorbed, self-indulgent, tiresome, believing their own hype (and commenters) when often it’s poorly written drivel. Lately I’ve been observing more, listening more, reflecting more – and sadly I find too many bloggers crossing the line. I’m making my own adjustments. It’s up to each to see it in themselves.

    • I hope I make the cut! People blog for all sorts of reasons and many freely admit they’re not writers. The funny thing is, some who think they’re not, totally are.

  11. I write because “it’s cheaper than therapy”, that would be on the top of my list, followed by it makes me happy.

    • Hmmmmm, I thought about that one, and for me, writing doesn’t always make me happy – often it makes me frustrated or anxious. It can make me feel woefully inadequate or just numb. I might feel like I’m trying to scale Everest in slippers or crochet in gardening gloves… but sometimes, when I’ve gone down the conveyor belt and come out on the other side of the circular saw, I feel like I’ve been somewhere deeper – gone somewhere I haven’t reached before – and that feels deeply satisfying. It also makes me want to do it again!!!

  12. I can see exactly why you write from your descriptions. A lot of it rings true for me, particularly the first paragraph in which you talk about books. I think, in very simple terms, I write because I always have done, because of a lifelong love of books and a desire to write my own, and because it makes me happy. And that is all.

  13. I write because I’m enjoying getting away with it before someone realizes I’m just winging it – and afraid every second they already know…

    Write that book Aisha, you certainly are good enough!

    • Haha! I know that feeling Maggie! As for the book – I’m mulling it over, deciding how to tell the story is a logistical nightmare. Any tips from your experienced self would be more than welcome!

      • I really don’t think you need my help. I never know what I’m doing, I guess I just had some good connections…

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